We all know that one guy (or group of guys) who are still holding onto their glory days
If you still think it’s okay to attend a high school party at the age of 21+ (In all honesty you shouldn’t be at one past your graduation date)..you deff need to reevaluate your life. Go to college, go to a club, host your own party & invite all the jail bait you want for all we care, but PLEASE do not show up at a fucking house party thinking you look like the shit because you have a few years on these children & can drive their sweet young souls to the nearest Albertsons to buy them a bottle of
UV Lemonade, that they will be sure to see again on the bathroom floor. We are letting you gentlemen know in advance that all of us girls DO notice when you post photos with those little babies & we DO snapshot them to send to our closest friends & talk shit. There are sooo many desperate & easy girls out there that are actually your age you could be buyin drinks for. Don’t get us wrong, when we were under 18 & the older boys would come to one of the house parties, we would be stoked especially if you hooked up with one of them it was the “cool” thing to do & gossip about with your friends in the quad that following Monday before you went to biology class..rambling on about how you hooked up with a boy that drives even if it was an old ass civic..he still had a car, and a fake ID((or real)) but now we look back on it & see where those MEN are now & think realize what losers they still are. SO if you or your friend still find themselves stumbling into a HS party (for their sake & all of ours) fill them in on the embarrassment they are causing & get the fuck out of there. You’re welcome.
Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. We could not have been more exited to see our babe Miley at the Bangerz tour. Our obsession with Miley started way back when she was eating hot dogs at the snack shack in Hannah Montana. Oh how things have changed..now she is riding a giant hot dog at her show instead.
We started the night off at Beacher’s Mad House with an open bar (always bad news) for her pre-party. After downing a couple vodka sodas we were slightly drunk and ready for her. Once we got into the Grand Arena we decided another drink (or three) wouldn’t hurt before going to our seats.
The concert was everything we expected (and more) from the dancing little people to her making out with some random girl.
Literally so much fun.
We had a creepy weird ass girl try to love on Ruthanne the whole time & sat right next to us, she kept trying to hold her hand and then wanted to be on the “kiss cam” with her.
Tay threw her phone to the row in front of us & missed her seat and fell on the ground.
Definition of a hot mess. We thought it would be fun to talk in English accents all night for no particular reason at all. Until we ended up meeting these guys that were actually from England. Awks. They definitely didn’t buy our story but they did teach us new words to use for next time! (i.e. rubbish, cheeky, lads, bonkers, fancy)
After the show we were too drunk to just go home, so out we went. Miley attire and all. We went to a club where one of our friends work and he took care of us, as always. We were sat at a table right next to the DJ who we took shots with (& if you know us, you know we DONT do shots) but he was a babe so we were convinced pretty easily. Being the two drunk messes we are we needed a burrito and a bed. Got our taxi home (with probably the most awkward driver ever) stopped at Roberto’s as always & went to sleep knowing this was a night we will never forget.
Not sure if you can fathom the amount of love we have for our boyfriend Zedd. Not only is it a must to see him when he comes to play in Vegas (& only at our fav clubs of course), but we have to get his attention. No matter if that’s being behind him on stage, or at our table doing our
signature dance move. Which usually works every time.
I mean more often than not we’re pretty drunk by the time any DJ gets up to play their set.
But the last time we saw Zedd has got to be one of the best nights we had all year.
Basically if you’re a cute girl & you aren’t with any dogs they will take you straight to the front & right to a table where you get to drink & hangout all night long (it’s literally so easy being a girl in the nightlife atmosphere) randomly we were sat at a mutual friend’s table (who is a complete stud btw) which made the night even better..Zedd hit the stage as we popped some more champagne.
Being the s’classy bitches we are, we had very strong vodka sodas in one hand (extra lime as always) and a glass of that delish Dom in the other.
After our night started coming to an end..
between the dancing, money being thrown, and bottle after bottle, partying until the early morning, we were fucked up beyond belief.
& after Tay spilt a glass of Dom all over Ruthanne (and she was now wearing an extra $2,000 all down her dress from just one glass of champagne) & a random calling us out on how clumsy we were… we gave each other the look & we knew it was time to go.
Of course, being the
good girls that we are, we got a taxi home and begged the Jamaican driver to stop so we could get a little snack.
Post Roberto’s, (our go-to spot when we have had a smidge too much to drink) we crawled into bed with our make-up on and eyelashes still intact, drunk and full as fuck, but
WE STILL WOKE UP WITH A MAJOR HANGOVER
So, if you love our boyf as much as we do, don’t get too drunk (but def DO NOT be sober) before you even see him.
Ps, don’t forget your late night snack so you don’t wake up still wasted from the night before.
Tay & Ru
Click the photo to watch a cute little vid of our Boyf.
There are a lot of things we hate (including bad grammar, kitten heels, & yellow cars) but honestly none can compare to bad style. We get it, we are the worlds biggest bums when we aren’t going out..with a go-to outfit of leggings, oversized sweaters & uggs. We aren’t talking about that kind of
style, what WE CAN’T STAND are the boys that are still rocking Hollister, Abercrombie, Affliction & Ed Hardy..like, I’m sorry? This isn’t 2006 you don’t see Paris Hilton & Ashton Kutcher still wearing Ed Hardy bedazzled hats, and neither should you (there’s a reason why they sell Ed Hardy lighters at local gas stations) another thing that we are confused on is why the fuck people still think it’s okay to be a bro or bro hoe uhh? Where the hell do you even purchase this silly apparel these days? Well, wherever it is they deff need to be SHUT DOWN such an embarrassment. Last but not least leopard/cheetah print..let’s all just take a moment to think about how trashy leopard print is..we used to be a fan of the whole leopard print thing, until Snooki came along, anything leopard print after 2010 should not be made. Sad thing is Snooki even said herself that she thinks it’s tacky, she over did it & will never wear it again. So if you’re not going to take our advice, at least take it from the animal print queen herself..and don’t wear it!
We have all witnessed that one girl who is roaming around the casino floor or out of the club doors barefoot carrying her heels
LADIES , this is the biggest embarrassment. If you are going to wear those stiletto heels that your sober mind thought was a good idea & great fashion sense. Then we do not care how badly your aching feet hurt, how much vodka you’ve had to drink, or if you are stumbling to the bathroom with your cosmopolitan in hand about to throw up that evenings sushi… you keep them on.
Ruthanne was roofied at
The Act Nightclub (which was our favorite club before they closed it this past year) while sitting at the main VIP table she had two glasses of champagne & doesn’t remember a thing after that. After waking up the next morning thankfully in our hotel room the first thing she asked was “did I keep my Jeffrey’s on all night?” Our friends laughed & said “that was your only request, to keep your heels on until we got to the room”
So, if Ru can keep her 6 1/2 inch heels on after she has downed a roofie or two.. Pretty positive you girls can keep your heels on until your sweet head hits the pillow.
so down another drink, pop a Tylenol & keep your fucking shoes on.
When all is said and done, that day after hangover.. THE WORST. Best thing to do drink up.
Whether or not that’s the beer you were pounding the night before or the Dom you were sipping on.
D R I N K I T.
Honestly, New years day we had spent a full twenty-four hours of drunkness together.
After waking up drunk and semi hungover at the Plazzo. We had the bright idea to down a bottle of Champagne.
Seriously, best decision ever. So.. obviously we had to keep the party going at 10am.
Vodka soda leaving the hotel,
beers at lunch,
followed by more beer and more vodka.
Moral of this story,
a beer the morning after an all night drinking affair.. turns into an all day drunk binger.
So if you’re down for a good time DO IT. You’re welcome.
To get to know us a little better we’ve decided a short story would be perf. Just to bring up our social outtings from the past..
NEW YEARS EVE
Shall we begin? Actually, it’s all kind of a blur so please bare with us.
To start the night off..
Getting ready, always a bitch but we were successful in our sassy dresses and Jeffery’s. We started our very eventful night by meeting a couple of our super cute (skinny) (tan) girlfriends at this little bar, Centrifuge, at MGM. Of course being busy (and probably drunk) through the day we didn’t eat near enough so obviously we were bound to be drunk quicker than expected.
After leaving the bar we went straight to the front of Hakkasan (a sold out night for Clavin Harris).. Getting our ID’s checked.. Ru forgets her fucking ID in the car. All the way in the parking garage. Walking away we felt like we were underage and embarrassed, but we couldn’t help but laugh the entire way to car.
Fast forward 15 minutes.. A host walks up to us as were in line again to get stamped and asks us if we’d like to go to a table by the DJ. Would you pass that up? Fuuuck no! Little did we know we got sat at the owner of the clubs table along with a shit ton of playboy models. As the bottle were flowing and being the social butterflies we are.. We had been talking to Calvin Harris for quite sometime. HAD NO IDEA IT WAS HIM. Literally, love his music just had no clue what he looked like. The only reason we knew it was him is because Mr. Popular had to excuse himself to start his set. What a doll he is, such a stud. Like holy shit.
The New Year hit and
the vodka hit quicker..
welcome to our crazy fucking life